Utopia : The Land of My Soul
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Memorabilia
‘Cool, mossy ways with entwined creepers kissing the feet of the dainty,
Wheat-hued Sunbeams meandering through the foliage and caressing the auburn tresses,
Starved, dreamy eyes lost in the gossamer dream of a filigree world,
Light and darkness are coalesced in the gauntlet of the cheeks….
a chiaroscuro image’
Wheat-hued Sunbeams meandering through the foliage and caressing the auburn tresses,
Starved, dreamy eyes lost in the gossamer dream of a filigree world,
Light and darkness are coalesced in the gauntlet of the cheeks….
a chiaroscuro image’
Memories or the reminiscences of the once sporadic, once true slices of life run riots in our brains as if they are possessed entities. From the days when conscious mind became a known figment of our being, memories became mementoes of our past- now shadowy and smothered in thousand after-thoughts. Sometimes they recur in our dreams as pageants of such recollections from the storehouse of oblivion. It happens to me frequently. Some fragment of incidents that shaped up aeons back, visit my dreamland with blurred faces and stranger identities.
One such dream bubbles up and plagues me even when I am fully awaken, out of the outskirts of the dreamland. I feel as if I’m in a trance, staggering in the limbo of dreams and reality. The sensation that I have just now slipped away from the web of a world whose images, sounds and string of events have had me arrested in them, lingers even when my eyes are widely open and my sense perceptions are back from the stupor. When I was about 3 to 4 years old my family used to stay at Diamond Harbour, a place that roughly takes 3 and a ½ hours to reach by train from kolkata ( by a local train of course). I was admitted to a Montessori there as a part of my Kindergarten learning process. My parents were working and I was left in the expert charge of a maid. She used to gird me up for the day Montessori and dispose me off to the Paradiso – a full house of toddlers of my age.
The way to the Montessori house was a skewed and loopy path that wriggled through a small expanse of field. I have a remotely faint memory of the curvaceous way and all that my childhood camera-eye permits me to flash on is – the field was a barren, shrubby land left for the tiny-boppers to play hide and seek. And there was a stranded thatched mud house, almost dilapidated. Sometime during the Spring when the field was flooded with “Kaash-phool”, ( a special kind of Spring-time shrub with creamy white cottony flowers resembling outstretched feathers of birds) I remember having played hide and seek with ‘God-only-knows-whom’ as even an ilk of their faces and names appears mirage like. I remember cooing some forgotten name from the desolate hut, my hideout. Then…I don’t have even an iota of event to ruminate. The rest I have to fantacise to add bones to bones to build up the skeleton.
Mom, though, has staved off the idea about the existence of the field anywhere near the place of our dwelling. She has had called it the creative work of my imaginative mind. But I never was and till date am not convinced. The tattered images flicker in my dreams cock-crowing that they had a lively existence. May be the sub-conscious realm of my mind had captured it and eluded it somewhere whose door only opens up in dreams.
One such dream bubbles up and plagues me even when I am fully awaken, out of the outskirts of the dreamland. I feel as if I’m in a trance, staggering in the limbo of dreams and reality. The sensation that I have just now slipped away from the web of a world whose images, sounds and string of events have had me arrested in them, lingers even when my eyes are widely open and my sense perceptions are back from the stupor. When I was about 3 to 4 years old my family used to stay at Diamond Harbour, a place that roughly takes 3 and a ½ hours to reach by train from kolkata ( by a local train of course). I was admitted to a Montessori there as a part of my Kindergarten learning process. My parents were working and I was left in the expert charge of a maid. She used to gird me up for the day Montessori and dispose me off to the Paradiso – a full house of toddlers of my age.
The way to the Montessori house was a skewed and loopy path that wriggled through a small expanse of field. I have a remotely faint memory of the curvaceous way and all that my childhood camera-eye permits me to flash on is – the field was a barren, shrubby land left for the tiny-boppers to play hide and seek. And there was a stranded thatched mud house, almost dilapidated. Sometime during the Spring when the field was flooded with “Kaash-phool”, ( a special kind of Spring-time shrub with creamy white cottony flowers resembling outstretched feathers of birds) I remember having played hide and seek with ‘God-only-knows-whom’ as even an ilk of their faces and names appears mirage like. I remember cooing some forgotten name from the desolate hut, my hideout. Then…I don’t have even an iota of event to ruminate. The rest I have to fantacise to add bones to bones to build up the skeleton.
Mom, though, has staved off the idea about the existence of the field anywhere near the place of our dwelling. She has had called it the creative work of my imaginative mind. But I never was and till date am not convinced. The tattered images flicker in my dreams cock-crowing that they had a lively existence. May be the sub-conscious realm of my mind had captured it and eluded it somewhere whose door only opens up in dreams.
Labels: Looking back
21 Comments:
.. sweet and beautiful
You Write so Well ..
Very well written,
Wish to go to Montessori sometimes…
I suddenly find myself adding a pinch of nostalgia into my professional life and unearthing similar childhood memoirs hidden in the closets of my brain. The blend of ‘poetry’ with ‘creative writing’ which you have used to express ‘Memorabilia’ is mesmerizing...
Your other post ‘Nascent wishes’ was also too good...beautiful thoughts indeed!
was reminded of Dylan Thomas' Fern Hill - extensive recreation of the blurred past!! Great post!! chaliye jao!!
@hazel dream
thank you soo much. actuaaly this experience is very close to my heart may be that's why i could write about it with passion
@dh@v@l
ya montessory experience is soo very dear. it's a world of carefree fun and innocence mischiefs
@sandesh
i'm really charged up knowing i could make you nostalgic. childhood memories are such things they are so contagiously nostalgic
@Deep
that was a bit too much though, this is no way near "Fern Hill" but thank you soo much for this encouragement
@shakhi
ya may be you are right. but as long as my memory can stretch i still have a faint, blurred image of this one. don't know how i have managed to retain this one and have forgotten all else.
Very well written. Yea, memories do haunt us always and sometimes they appear as if thoughts from a bygone world!
Hey....The subcinscious mind captures vast amount of things and then remembers them in a subscoincious state...i to have some vivid situations i can relate to but dont know any other thing of my past during the same phase...Sometimes, when there is nothing more I can remember in my sleep, I feel like I have become blind..I am made to feel I became blind and then I wake up and reassure myself tht I am not blind....Okie..I have written some nonsense out here...
Nice read lady!
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Thanks for stopping by my blog and please do come again. Very well written post. enjoyed reading it.
Nice post... reminded me bugging my head thinking of the past times which my mom claims that never existed but i just know i had those frens and i visited "those" places.
U write so very well... and yes, i think usually your imagination is in the full-go point when we are kids 3-4 years old.. we have imaginary frens, we have visited places that never existed, we have seen things that ppl might consider "crazy"... but they are all true...
Perfecto as always!
there are times when we get confused between a dream and a real situation...sometimes both get tangled into one and even interchange between themselves..well written amu
excellent..
May be the sub-conscious realm of my mind had captured it and eluded it somewhere whose door only opens up in dreams.
This line was true to the core..we have flashes of these memories coming up sometime or the other..and it will be very vague and detailed to the minimum...I too have such ocassional flash memories!!
Yaad ne jaaye bite dino ki ,ja ke naye aaye jo din dil kyu bulaya ..
dreams are always followed by reality but at times reality follows dreams...
if u ever notice that when some incidence happen or when u see some one for the first time u feel that u have come across this incidence before and u were aware of it........
these are called punarjanam ;) :) :)
nice post
@scribblez
No that was not non-sense, what you said is true-every word. our psychology is so complex that we ourselves don't know. the realms of sub-conscious is vaster than that of the conscious.
@starry
thanx buddy for stopping by too, would look forward to your coming back
@Eclipsed
we seem to think on similar lines. yes as kids our imagination runs scot free and our world is never infringed with petty issues like realism or surrealism.
@pradip
yes that's exactly what i have tried to convey. our dreams and reality often exchange places leaving us charred, and we burn our minds thinking whether our sense of perception has been capped.
@cherian
we all have such stories to tell. such little, sweet and yet enigmatic flashbacks leave a mark in our mind.
@vikas
thanks for singing!!!
yes, reality and dream sometimes take a cyclical pattern vexing us.
But the 'punarjanam' concept is a way too much. i assure you that wasn't an event of my last birth(frankly speaking I'm not even aware of what I was before---a girl, a cow or a bird???)
@priyankari
thank you soo much. actually this secret is only for you...
i was inspired to write this after shakhi and rai wrote about some memories. you are right memories do haunt us. they are things we savour as well as think about a lot .
Beautifully written..very passionately infact.
Memories indeed...no one can ever take them away from us!
PS - Thanx for comin on to the clouds...
you took me back to my childhood...like you so beatifully conveyed...all those childhood memories receding into snapshots.
amrita i really loved this post for one more reason...the scenery i like the most is a log-cabin in the deep woods or a small house in the middle of a vast paddy farm...i have seen so many fotos like that but this time i saw something similar, but for first time picturised in words.
Amu..you are tagged!!
Long time...no new post?
Hey! now whooz the lazy bones?? btw finally managed a new one for me!
""""now shadowy and smothered in thousand after-thoughts. Sometimes they recur in our dreams as pageants of such recollections from the storehouse of oblivion.""""
and u tell me that i should publish. have never encountered such a beautiful usage of words before. So how bout co authoring ? :)
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