Utopia : The Land of My Soul
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Ah! No work day again!
Today is again no work day for me. Its not that, the leisure at work doesn't fascinate me. Yes its quite lucrative to sit idly before the inhuman, non-responsive machine, logging into unknown domains to scramble for something worthwhile simply to kill the time.But not for long. Slowly the sluggishness of the clock, which seems to have stopped ticking, starts drawing the wistful eyes in hope of seeing it run fast. The fatigue of being unoccupied exhausts the brain, a dullness takes over and eyes become weary of looking around for something to happen to fix the minds on. Even the utopic concept of leading the life of a Lotus Eater (which at times of tremendous pressure becomes Heavenly) is hateful, disgusting!
Previouly, (I'm taking about the history 5 days old) I had ample provisions to while away leisures surfing a God blessed Orkut. Scraps were the most awaited thing and I used to be a scrap'aholic desperate to make my scrap box gain momentum by going on ticking. Scraps used to fill in quite incessantly and I made sure to check my scrapbook every 2 minutes and posted a quick reply to ensure that i was too busy. How I envy my 5 days older version of Amu, now!
Some neurotic flibbertigibbet- sadist- masochist- victim of nepotism, screwed up my (along with the rest of my office mate's as well) happiness by blocking the fountain of joy. The never-to- be redeemed secret pleasure to keep in touch with a host of friends and acquaintances, during working hours, is a thing of the past. Its absence is so much an eye sore, that the privileged leisure no more seems such. It grills me. Now, being alive and working sounds a better idea to me than being alive and lazing away, doing fruitless stuffs. I have tried to peek into other collegues' monitor just to catch up with what substantial thing they are into.
Just the glimpse of them doing sensible official work, is strong enough a reason to take my eyes off from their monitor. In such state of limbo, (i will call it such because trying to do something out of nothing, is anything but a confused state) even my passion to write doesn't turn me on. Words create a whirlpool in my mind, ideas clutter,fingers on the keyboard fail to move fast and sentences become monotonous jargons as if trying to explain some rude technicalities. And I hopelessly go on scribbling rubbish untill it stretches too long for me to continue anymore. O, a pitiable condition. I know people will laugh at my foolish despondency to look for work, and friends at office will scoff at me for trying to be a maniac. But I wish to put them in my shoes to help them understand better what I go through.
Honestly speaking, on such days I pray for the office hours to be over much before the scheduled time. ( An improvisation on the thought: No Office rather!) The prospect of bunking office like the good old college days, excites me to no end. But the illusory temptation recedes to the background and the reality check shoves in "You're in corporate world honey, work or no work You are to sit fixedly at your place, even though you may have to fight against yourself to look busy neck deep". This bit of chime and here I am, making the best use of office resources - the free internet access (except for a few sites denied access) - to virtually put forward my heartfelt emotions. Sigh! the world will remain unnerved, thinking not to scratch its head over trifle.
Previouly, (I'm taking about the history 5 days old) I had ample provisions to while away leisures surfing a God blessed Orkut. Scraps were the most awaited thing and I used to be a scrap'aholic desperate to make my scrap box gain momentum by going on ticking. Scraps used to fill in quite incessantly and I made sure to check my scrapbook every 2 minutes and posted a quick reply to ensure that i was too busy. How I envy my 5 days older version of Amu, now!
Some neurotic flibbertigibbet- sadist- masochist- victim of nepotism, screwed up my (along with the rest of my office mate's as well) happiness by blocking the fountain of joy. The never-to- be redeemed secret pleasure to keep in touch with a host of friends and acquaintances, during working hours, is a thing of the past. Its absence is so much an eye sore, that the privileged leisure no more seems such. It grills me. Now, being alive and working sounds a better idea to me than being alive and lazing away, doing fruitless stuffs. I have tried to peek into other collegues' monitor just to catch up with what substantial thing they are into.
Just the glimpse of them doing sensible official work, is strong enough a reason to take my eyes off from their monitor. In such state of limbo, (i will call it such because trying to do something out of nothing, is anything but a confused state) even my passion to write doesn't turn me on. Words create a whirlpool in my mind, ideas clutter,fingers on the keyboard fail to move fast and sentences become monotonous jargons as if trying to explain some rude technicalities. And I hopelessly go on scribbling rubbish untill it stretches too long for me to continue anymore. O, a pitiable condition. I know people will laugh at my foolish despondency to look for work, and friends at office will scoff at me for trying to be a maniac. But I wish to put them in my shoes to help them understand better what I go through.
Honestly speaking, on such days I pray for the office hours to be over much before the scheduled time. ( An improvisation on the thought: No Office rather!) The prospect of bunking office like the good old college days, excites me to no end. But the illusory temptation recedes to the background and the reality check shoves in "You're in corporate world honey, work or no work You are to sit fixedly at your place, even though you may have to fight against yourself to look busy neck deep". This bit of chime and here I am, making the best use of office resources - the free internet access (except for a few sites denied access) - to virtually put forward my heartfelt emotions. Sigh! the world will remain unnerved, thinking not to scratch its head over trifle.
Labels: Miscellaneous
5 Comments:
Hmm... however bad a state your 'Lotus Eater' status might put you in, it seems that integrity among words and expressions is not as far a fantasy in your hands as you seem to claim! Rest assured - I could understand all your sentences, and they did seem to be quiet coherent in following one after another. Time to celebrate? Why don’t you give a shot at writing stories or stuff like that, which can be published and out of which you might even be able to make out a few bucks?
@rajarshi
well to tell you frankly that was a strained effort. :)
you are good with words
please beware of hazel dream. he is a stalker and a debauch.
ABC
Yup...i agree with Anonymous, please steer clear of Hazel Dream...he has a tendency to start conversations with unsuspecting women from the blogworld & then...
Anyway,its mostly the women from Mumbai, Pune & Kolkata who need to be more careful as these are his favourite playing grounds...
Please take heed..
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